At the end of my last blog, I said I would share with you in my next blog about some weakness & trials that I have gone through. I’ve already shared some with you about my struggles with mental health. This has been my “thorn in the flesh”. A thorn in the flesh signifies a source of continual irritation or suffering. I have suffered for many years. I have often felt like, what I think, Paul must have felt like. The Bible says that he had what he referred to as a thorn in the flesh. It has caused me lots of pain & heartache. Like Paul, I’ve also suffered with many situations outside of my thorn. As most of you know, I lost my 8 yr old daughter as a result of a tragic accident in 2008. The suffering and brokenness was almost unbearable. And that added so much more to the sufferings that I already experienced in my daily life. I can’t tell you how many times throughout my life that I’ve begged & pleaded with God to please take my mental illness away…to restore my mind…to make me “normal”. But God’s will and plans don’t always line up with ours. God uses illnesses sometimes for His purposes. Whether it be a physical illness or mental illness. Believers that suffer in life or that have illnesses doesn’t necessarily mean that they lack faith or lead a sinful life.
No one knows for sure exactly what Paul’s thorn in his flesh was, because the Bible doesn’t tell us. Several have speculated. Some say it was the Jewish persecution he endured & some say it was just the remembrance of his past. Others think that maybe he just dealt with some carnal temptation or even depression. The fact that no one knows for sure, is a positive thing. If Paul’s thorn would’ve been revealed, then, many generations of believers may have disregarded Paul’s sufferings if they weren’t afflicted by the same thing. We can identify with others better if they have been through the same experiences or sufferings as us. Many Christians have benefited from Paul’s reference to the thorn while applying it to their own specific problems. Paul suffered through many situations outside of his thorn, even so, God mightily used him for the advancement and furtherance of His gospel.
When I tell you that I’ve begged and pleaded with God to restore my mind in the past, I am being completely sincere. There have been many times I would just weap and cry out…questioning to God “why me”? What have I ever done to deserve this? The daily struggles are real. But at the point I am at in my life now, I am thanking God for my illnesses, which is exactly what Paul ended up doing. That probably sounds crazy to you, huh? Let me explain. When Paul pleaded with God 3 different times to remove the thorn from his flesh which caused his pain and suffering, God gave him this. 2Corinthians 12:9-10 And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness….. When God told Paul this, Paul’s response was… Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. All glory be unto God! Y’all I am alive and here for a reason. God has a purpose for my life! And just in case you don’t know, or don’t think so, I’m here to tell you that He has a purpose for your life too! I urge you to find out what it is so that you can begin to live your life to the fullest by fulfilling God’s purpose for your life! No matter what your “thorn in the flesh” is, God’s Grace is sufficient to help you overcome it!