How Christmas Affects Me

So, I wrote a blog titled “Merry CHRISTmas” in December. I wrote it to discuss the true meaning of Christmas. But now I’d like to share with you about what Christmas means to me personally and how the Christmas holiday affects me positively and negatively. What it means to me is pretty obvious if you read my last blog, but to make a long story short, Christmas is all about Christ…MY Savior! It is that amazing time every year when I am reminded of the birth of our Lord and King. I rejoice and worship with friends and family as we celebrate Him. I am filled with true joy which is given to me by the Holy Spirit which lives in me. Obviously this is how Christmas time affects me in a positive way!

Now I’d like to share with you how Christmas time affects me in a negative way!

I am the mother of four beautiful daughters. On Christmas we attend church as a family to celebrate the birth of Jesus. As I sit on the church pew with my girls and my husband, not only am I reminded of Jesus’ birth, but I am reminded of Laken’s birth. My sweet little girl that isn’t sitting beside me on the church pew with the rest of my family. The beautiful, healthy little girl that I gave birth to on January 18, 2000. The same beautiful little girl that I buried on July 23, 2008. Although my heart is full of joy, at the same time, it’s saddened. My heart is broken and times like these it feels as if it’s breaking for the first time all over again because the pain is so real.

My family is no longer whole, but instead, it’s broken like my heart. My heart is made up of many pieces. Each piece is important and is made up of someone that I love with all of my heart. My heart remains broken because it’s missing one of the most important pieces it could be missing…one of my babies. A mamas heart is full of love for her babies and is very fragile.

Although my heart is broken, I do have peace. I have peace because I have a Savior that comforts me and gives me hope. Matthew 5:4 says, Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Psalm 34:18 says, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

I know that I’m not alone. I know that there are other mothers that have lost their babies and have experienced the same pain as me. I would like to share the peace, love, comfort and hope, that God has given me, with them. The pain that I go through daily, as a mother that has lost a child, is indescribable. It’s a pain no one can understand unless they have experienced it on a personal level. But I can keep going because I have hope. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 says, But I do not want you to be ignorant brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope.
For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. I don’t believe God is telling us not to mourn our loved ones. Instead, He is giving us hope by telling us we will see our loved ones in Christ again some day and that we shouldn’t go through life as those that aren’t saved and have no hope. It is beyond my understanding how anyone could go through life, especially after losing a child, without the Lord!

Then He tells us in 1 Thessalonians 4:16b-17, And the dead in Christ shall rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. I hold tight to these words and promises that God has given us! I look forward to the day that I will be reunited with Laken and the other babies God blessed me with that I didn’t get to deliver or hold in my arms here on earth. And I am overflowing with joy when I think about His promise that we will all live together with Him, in Heaven, for eternity!!! My family will no longer be broken!

And the last verse in this chapter 1 Thessaonians 4:18 says, Therefore comfort one another with these words. That’s what God has led me to do…help comfort and encourage you! My prayer for you is that you experience the same peace, love, comfort and hope that I have received from the Lord!

Please feel free to contact me if you would like to talk with me. You can comment on the post or contact me via email @ melissalinrn32@yahoo.com