This is a devotion that I wrote & submitted recently to a group that I’m a member of. The devotion is based on stress, worry and anxiety…thought I’d share it with you.
I lost my 8 year old little girl, Laken, in 2008 to a tragic golf cart accident. She suffered an anoxic brain injury and was pronounced brain dead, after spending two days fighting for her life at Children’s Hospital in New Orleans, LA.
During those two seemingly endless days, I was consumed with worry, fear, anxiety and stress. I didn’t eat or sleep…just sobbed and prayed. I was in shock and felt like I was sleepwalking through my worst nightmare.
I was so overwhelmed and I knew in my heart that I should give all my worries to God, but that isn’t always easy to do. I just wanted, somehow, for my baby to wake up and be ok and to be able to take her home with me.
I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager. It is a debilitating mental illness that brings with it many life-altering symptoms, with stress, anxiety and worry being just a few of them. These are all different mental health disorders, yet they are all intertwined because one affects the other.
Being at the hospital, after the accident, was an extremely stressful situation which sent my anxiety sky high for fear of the unknown. Feelings of agony and helplessness consumed me as I knew there was nothing I could do to change the disastrous situation. I was plagued with fear, not knowing what the outcome would be of this devastating, horrific nightmare. The only thing I could do was pray and put it in God’s hands, which is what I did.
It was with this tragedy that I truly realized what David meant when, in the 23rd Psalm, he spoke about “walking through the valley of the shadow of death”. Symbolically speaking, he was saying that darkness and death are valleys that we all must walk through and experience during our lifetime here on earth. Losing Laken, without a doubt, was the deepest and darkest valley I have ever had to walk through in my life and it almost killed me. The stress, worry, anxiety, and depression contributed to the mental breakdown that I unfortunately had to endure.
David followed the above words with “I will not fear for thou art with me”. Jesus tells us multiple times in the Bible “Do not be afraid” and reassures us that He is with us and will guide, protect and comfort us. Phillipians 4:6-7 says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus”.
I am able to share my story with you today only because God has blessed me. I have learned to trust and lean on Him through all my tribulations in life. In Him I have hope that I will see Laken again and will no longer be enslaved by stress, anxiety or any other mental illness.